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She comes bounding in my direction, arms outstretched, soft curls bouncing around her, like a golden-brown halo, afraid her canine stalker will beat her to me. She jumps and clings on to me, like a lizard, head buried in my shoulder, scared to even look up.

"He's gone!" I whisper into her ears. And she opens her hazel eyes at last.

Just as suddenly as she had jumped onto my lap, she wriggles down and runs back to check if he really is gone. She discovers that he is. She turns back towards me and smiles. And I melt. She is so cute. So lovely. So complete.

"Come I'll show you my room," she says. And tugs at my hand to carry her again. I oblige. She points to the direction of her room. And I feel like an outsider on a voyage of discovery with the most beautiful guide in the world.

"My sister drew that", she says, pointing at a water colour painting on the door. "It's beautiful!" I exclaim.

"And that's our caricature", she says, as she points at a lovely cartoon rendition of her with her sister and mother, beside her bed.

"Lovely!" I say, as I put her down on her bed and move closer to get a better look at the framed masterpiece.

The dog comes again. She screams and jumps on me again. And I hold her tight, as she hides her head in my shoulder again.

The dog doesn't go away this time. He wags his tail and keeps looking at her direction. And she continues to hang on to me. And I love the feeling of having her hanging on my neck...

Tara, the explorer.

Cute. Lovely. Complete.
 

 
 
 
 
 
 


Dear You,

It's amazing how the days have passed without you by me. I am surprised that I don't think about you anymore. And that I don't pray for you or wait for your phone call, or message, or write to you anymore. Wasn't it just yesterday that we were so much in love?! Wasn't it just yesterday that we couldn't think of a life without each other, where each of our plans included us...

It's strange, really. How easily I have moved on! From you, from everybody else... from the life that we shared...

Maybe we were young and foolish. Maybe we weren't really in love...

But there are odd days when I miss you. Like today. I think of the walks that we had by the calm lake, of those stolen moments in the canteen when you would hold my hand under the table, of our first movie together, of unending conversations over the phone...

You were so different from them all, so special...Sometimes I wonder if there'll ever be anyone as special as you!

We have both changed I guess. We have both moved on. And yet sometimes, when it rains, I wonder if you too think of our walks together, of our silly fights and love notes... I wonder if you too miss me sometimes, and laugh at our secret jokes with a tear in your eye...

I guess no matter how much I change, the memories that we made together will always be special...

So long then!

Love,
Me.
 

 
 
 
 
 
 


Dear Somebody,

I learnt something about you yesterday. And it has affected me in more ways than one. I had you up on a pedestal and I thought you could never be wrong. I almost thought you are a demi god...

Now I have learnt that you are only human... Like me. Like everybody else!

And I am pretty confused too. I do not want to judge you, because I know, I am not supposed to. It's your life after all and you can choose to live it the way you want to. Yet somewhere along the line, I feel a little betrayed, even though I know you are in no way answerable to me! After all, who am I that you should even bother to explain your past!

But I am glad in a way that the film of royalty that I had chosen to cover you with has been destroyed forever. Now at least I know the real you. At least I know that you too have your vices and your weaknesses. At least now I know that you are only human, like all of them; like all of us.

Perhaps I'll continue to adore you. Only, this time round, it will be with a pinch of salt.

And I'll also be careful what dreams I dream about you and me, and what plans I make that include you and me. Because now I know that none of them would come true. Ever. After all, you are everyone's. And everyone thinks you are theirs'...

I don't mind that. But I mind being the thorn in someone's eye. And I mind being an object of contempt just because I like someone.

I don't know why I even need to tell you this. I guess it's my way of washing my hands clean!

Love always,
Me.

 

 
 
 
 
 
 

What would it be like
If I was still me
And You were still You
And I and You
Were still us?

Would the skies be bluer?
Would the hills be greener?
As they were
When I and You were together?

When we weaved lovely dreams
Lived fantasies like they were real
Held hands
Like we'd never let go...

Promises promises...
All's lost
Past

We were just mistakes
Each other's...

You mine and me Your's.

 
 
 
 
 
 
Yesterday
Lost forever
In the bosom of time
The moments
Lived to the fullest
Now but a fragment
In the hour-glass of time
A part of eternity
Beautifully carved
In the crevasses of the heart
Yesterday...
 
 
 
 
 
 
Hi there!

I have a new blog where I will be posting from hence forth...

The address is

http://not-your-average-girl-next-door.blogspot.com/


hope to see you there!

Ciao.
Lolo
 
 
 
 
 
 

Some days are simply gloomy. No matter how hard you try, things just refuse to work out fine. Today is such a day for me. My head's heavy, got a running nose, voice has gone for a toss and my left hand is shaky!! And I think I am running a temperature too...

Whatever!

So I have watched Rock On!! twice over the weekend. And I have been inspired. And also woken up from my slumber. What is it that I wanted to do all my life? What was my dream? To be a performer!! And in all the confusion of being a confused soul, I had forgotten all about that passion.

Now I plan to revive that dream of mine. And as Rock On!!'s tagline has put it, I want to "live my dream"....

But how?? Live music has been banned in Bangalore!

Just my luck I guess!!!

But, no. I refuse to give up!! I shall pursue my dream and live it!!

No bans and regulations can take that from me. Not anymore.

 
 
 
 
 
 
Just three sentences. I paid 170 bucks and went for it on Friday night. I paid 650 bucks and went for it again on Saturday night. I am planning on going for it again..... :D :D

 
                                    
 
 
 
 
 
 


There are many types of hugs. Cute ones. Caring ones. Lusty ones. Indifferent ones. "I am hep that's why I hug" ones.

And there's another kind. The kind that is sincere and caused due to the deepest of emotional turmoils, either of the good or the bad kind.

Yesterday was my lucky day! I got one such "sincere and caused due to the deepest of emotional turmoils" hug. And it became all the more special because it was an unexpected one.

This special hug made me realise a truth that I had been fumbling about for so long. That truth, which has opened my eyes to many more truths and has relieved me from prejudices and misunderstandings. It has made me realise that human beings are, after all, selfish. There's nothing wrong in that. That's how we have been made. And in our selfishness, we always seek for those who care for us so we might have someone to lean on in our time of sorrow. In the process of seeking, many times we miss those in-between-friends people who support us when we are absolutely alone. That's because our selfish nature pushes us towards those who can give us more and away from those who gave us little in the time of need.

I have always been one of those in-between-friends people.

But that is not what I want to put down here.

What I want to put down is this. When you are an in-between-friends person, you always get that special, "sincere and caused due to the deepest of emotional turmoils" hug. And the best part is, it's always from a different person, and hence, an altogether different experience each time!

I don't mind if I am just a passing window in the lives of those around me. What really matters is the role I play in making even the most seemingly emptiest parts of their lives a little fuller. Probably that's why I am how I am! Probably that's why I have so many people around me always.

The challenge lies in touching the lives of the people we live with and not in succeeding in being "friends" with the people we co-exist with.

The challenge lies in being that in-between-friends person who always gets the "sincere and caused due to the deepest of emotional turmoils" hug.

And I am taking it head on!

 
 
 
 
 
 
 

She takes a deep breath. The moist air fills her lungs. She looks outside to the rain longingly and walks into the dark, crowded room filled with people. Some rolling dice, some hiding cards, some yelling for their numbers....


The disco lights do not light up a face too long to make them recognisable. And the colours make her squirmish. Almost dizzy. She decides to run back to where she belongs; in the rain. Or so she thinks...


Her escape is cut short by a familiar voice.


“You came!”


He hugs her; a tight, protective hug.


She smiles – the only reaction that her mixed feelings allow.


More people greet her. More smiles. More hugs. A few handshakes.


And suddenly she realises. That she has a life that extends beyond him. Him.


Everything around her slowly turns familiar. The music that she loves playing in the background, the people around her who are her friends, her world, without him...


She takes his hand, unsure at first, and then with confidence.


He smiles. He understands. 


He pulls her to an empty spot on the dance floor.


And they dance....